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    退休工人大陳籌錢給兒子結婚買房,跑細了腿也沒湊夠,還差十萬元呢! 夜里,大陳和老婆在床上輾轉難眠,翻來覆去到凌晨三點鐘時,老婆突然一骨碌爬起來, 赤著腳在地上跳,
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    退休工人大陳籌錢給兒子結婚買房,跑細了腿也沒湊夠,還差十萬元呢!
    夜里,大陳和老婆在床上輾轉難眠,翻來覆去到凌晨三點鐘時,老婆突然一骨碌爬起來, 赤著腳在地上跳, 一驚一乍地叫道:“有了!我們有錢了!”
    大陳也一骨碌爬起來,張口要問老婆錢在哪里。可是話還沒出口,大陳的鼻子先發酸了:老婆肯定是想錢想狠了,把腦子想出毛病了,神經了!
    老婆光腳丫子跳了一陣,又瘋瘋顛顛地鉆到床下,轉眼拖出個大紙箱和一個舊算盤。她捧著舊算盤,看著紙箱子仍然在叫:“我們有錢了!”
    大陳心里難過,突然想起了《范進中舉》里的故事:范進中了舉人,當即樂瘋了、神經了!他殺豬的老丈人爹為了治他的病,就狠狠給了他一個嘴巴,一嘴巴就把他扇過來了。因此,大陳想學習范進的老丈人爹,就揮起了胳膊,準備一嘴巴把老婆扇過來!
    誰知老婆出手在前,猛然把一個紅紙夾推到大陳鼻子尖上,說:“看!這就是一百塊錢!”
    大陳收回胳膊,接過紅紙夾子細看。
    一看,大陳更堅定地掄起了胳膊——那紅紙夾子是一年前別人送給他們的請帖。明明是張請帖,老婆竟然說它是一百塊錢,神經得連請帖和錢都分不清了!大陳在心里說:“打!非一嘴巴把她扇過來不可!”但是,大陳的巴掌還沒揮下去,老婆已經把一紙箱的請帖全倒在地上,伏身跪下去,撅著屁股一五一十地數請帖了。
    由于老婆的腦門幾乎挨著了地面,大陳那一嘴巴實在沒地方扇。他只好收回了胳膊,盤算著等老婆數完請帖,抬起臉后再扇,反正今晚非一嘴巴把她扇過來不可。
    說起那一紙箱請帖話就長了。大陳建家近三十年來,每個月都要收到甚至平均每星期都要收到幾張請帖。這些請帖,都是熟人、關系密切的人送上門的。老婆喜歡收藏東西,收到的請帖都存在紙箱里, 而且還在請帖背面記上所送的禮金數。
    大陳老婆邊數請帖邊打算盤,合計他家出過的禮金數。她撥拉算盤珠的速度極快,而且每次運算都準確無誤。大陳看著看著又對自己最初的判斷產生了懷疑:說老婆腦子出毛病、神經了,可老婆打算盤為什么這樣快、這樣準呢?
    請帖數完算過,老婆忽地一下從地上跳起來,臉上涌出了驚喜的神色,不容大陳揮起胳膊,就一把將他的腦袋扳過去摟著,極其神秘地對著他耳朵悄聲說:“一千四百張、十一萬塊錢哪!”
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